So I need to really start getting myself in gear for college crap. There's a scholarship essay due next Monday that I just started on today, but I really need it done by tomorrow, at least by Wednesday. I hate the feeling of a deadline like this. College, and everything. My parents don't want me to go anywhere but John Brown, and I know they have a really good inkling of what's best for me, But something tells me I won't be the happiest there. I feel weird just applying to the college they want me at, but I'm not applying to Wheaton while the app is right beside me. I don't get it. It's not even laziness.. I guess it's just some kind of fear.
Either way, I pray it works out for the best.. and not just the best for me--the best for all of us. I know God has the right plan for me--he always has, and I've never doubted that. But it gets scary along the way, when today starts becoming tomorrow, and sooner or later, everything's different.
And I was thinking today. You know what? I don't care that I'm an idealist. Because what is real, dies. Only the ideal lives forever. And I don't plan on dying for death.
Power of One
Darling, dare
do not look down
because there is nothing
so beautiful as the up
carved in toothy cherub smiles
secreted in feathered
upward eyes. The
power of one living will not die, because
this is the Magician's favorite
apparition:
Boots struggling soulless towards the night,
Saying, "Boots were not made
for walking that light."
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