Summer Snow

My flawed fortune,
was a feast of echoed glass.
It spiraled mighty white, and pure
down mountains and caverns of a reality so clear.
And underneath its sharp edges were wings
And underneath that, some kind being
Dripping from its hands was a Summer sun
I felt its warmth, but it seemed I was the only one.

Melodies and Desires

For the past week, I've been insanely sick. They said I didn't have Swine Flu, but all my symptoms pointed towards it, so I probably did in the end. My sickness is basically over now, but I missed an entire week of school, which is probably the most I've ever missed consecutively. We all know what this means now... insane amounts of make-up work. BAH. I hate it.. I think it's the most illogical form of punishment for intense illness.

Anyways, my right shoulder, arm, and hand have all been cramping horribly today. I took some extra-strength tylenol, and it went away for a while, but I feel it coming back now. :( I hope this stops soon.


In other news, I need money for CDs and things, badly. I love that song up there, and I wanted to buy the CD, but I didn't have enough money when I saw it at Barnes and Noble this weekend. Dangit.



However... I got a haircut! Yep.. I got short bangs. First time I've had bangs since probably 6th or 8th grade, can't remember which. And even then, my bangs were a lot longer, and didn't look as good as these do. I'm really happy with how it all turned out, although I somewhat miss the length of my old hair sometimes. Ah well. :)


Well, I guess I should go finish up retarded English homework... I wouldn't mind doing it if there weren't like, 3-4 parts for EVERY question... kind of ridiculous. Anyways.. I'm off.




Peace. :)

Sweet Darlin'

Awesome song. I love how classy Zooey is. :) <3



So I had my post-5-year appointment with my doctor in St. Louis 2 days ago. It was really great. I guess I just felt very.. important, and useful for once. I hope whatever happens, is for good-- for me, but mostly for others. I want to be helpful in any way possible to those like me. Hopefully I can get in on the clinical testing and maybe, if I'm really lucky... attain a sort of cure. :)


In the meantime, school is really retarded. :P Cold/flu-ish type stuff does NOT help the intense homework process. I also hate most of my social situation. I guess it's just like last year, but I don't know. I just feel as if I'm missing something. Speaking of which-- I hate that weird, semi-awkward feeling of when you stare at someone, for more than is considered normal. You know what I mean--I'm talkin' like.. 3 to 5 or more seconds. And it's not always you. Most of the time, it's that person who's looking. They're holding your gaze back. And it's weird, because you don't know if it's a good kind of stare that you should hold on to, or the ones that make you seem kind of weird or creepy--which you should then break off IMMEDIATELY, lol. Anyways, lately, I've tried to forget those things. I tend to obsess over little things that itch at me, that I don't get. So my goal this year is to take stock in the big picture. The more I pay attention to the little stuff, the more I'll just dream away my life. I tend to be an idealist anyhow-- half of that stuff usually ends up hurting me in some form.


Well, it's late.. or early, for that matter! XD I should probably at least try to sleep, even if this sickness makes it impossible. Sigh. Well, peace. :)

"And She Was Gone" by Ginger Foutley

She chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before her,
Kept eyes cast upwards,
Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions
No need for earthly things.
Only wanted freedom,
From what she felt were
Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird. That she might fly away.
She pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,
That brightly danced alone.
Felt jealous of the steam
That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

Some say she wished too hard.
Some say she wished too long.
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.
The sky refused to tell.
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.
Breathed in the break of dawn.
She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.

Six Years

I am 10 years old.
And I see things how they are,
Now.
Salty seas of pride, swallowed
Still sleepy waters, my reverie
Most of the nights, unless the indefinite he
is there to comfort me.
All the offers I have on the table,
Extractions of hope, a sweet jelly

Various soda-can stories
Seen, as they slide right off.
And who knows or fathoms,
what would have happened.
Of course, that fizz is gone.
Now I've only got my own
Sun-dried force I seem to leave alone.

I am 16 years old.
And I see things how they were,
Then.
All the things I've got to think about
Red, black, or, blue hair, maybe fair
High-heeled or strung out, on you
Well I wonder how they got here, what they missed
What kindred thing, what innocence, dwindles
Running in their heavy, highway daydreamed myth
left just beyond the cornerstone, behind yesterday.
Dreams attached to afternoon naps, caressed by Friday's freedom lullaby
The sagged skeletons that hid, hung in old Saturday's closet,
and Sunday morning's mother's kiss, awake, good day, goodnight.

Six years, the art of knowing, that some girls wander
In what symmetry, end, beginning, there is
on yonder.