Cherry

Got this feeling in my head, that
God, I'll love you 'til I'm dead.
And got that stirring in my soul, that
God, you'll never, ever know.

Discursive

The waves, my goodbye friends
shave wind in ripe turbulence
It's strange fate, how they end
in affection's wrestled permanence.

While dangling, they are high
With rocks bathing in sand below
And with Fate's stone hand, held nigh
I pray with every raking blow.

Father warned me not to trust
Anything that ever leaves you.
But sore are my feet, Father,
planted in dust
With rusted arms, I can't believe you.

Nothing Less True

Reel in the colored trailors
that jar and shine the lights of my mind, and in them
find, the fine wines, where we dine
where we'll plot our points of trouble.
Don't trace your stationary hand on my neck
on my back, on my sides, but sell your mark, cause I must
feel that I'm this real
I'm more real than you
And enclosed is this print, that
Circumstance has drowned me
drawn in deep blue,
what weathered conditions we've seen

they've sorted nothing less true

Candy

Candy mouth, candy eyes
Stark blue windows into your mind
Blue homes line the streets, and
driving down low, it's true
how everything blue
reminds me of you.

Sleep

He died with the airplane roar that was
his voice
That holy roar that tapered after every beat
in mushy clouds that garbled its sound
into sleep
but I couldn't sleep
not with it above me
not without it
dissecting its way into my dreams
and soon enough, it'd be the only thing
i'd see.

Life and all its delicacies.

I've noticed that when people experience grief, all they want, simultaneously, is to be heard and left alone. Because no matter how individual, how private, their loss may be, they will attempt to convey it for others--something not quite possible, even in the realm of experienced loss. No life is measured the same, no life is truly experienced by others quantitatively--but they hope there can be something real and touchable--hope that all life feels equal in loss-- forming something out of nothing, forming bonds out of split ends. They don't want all the fake pity, the cliched words of comfort. But they still go to people--they need people. There seems to be something comforting in knowing what to expect from others. Which brings me to that one line we almost constantly say to someone in need: "I'm here if you need to talk" or "I'm always here if you need me". But are we always really there? Are we always willing to give up 'our' time for them--and are we doing it because it's the right thing to do, or we don't know what else to say? Honestly, I think it's a little bit of both. When you have a friend who has experienced loss, what else is there to say? There is nothing else to say. There is "loss"--and lest we know it or not, it comes in all forms: loss of words, loss of knowledge, loss of motivation, loss of life.

So next time you feel required to say, "I'm always here for you if you need me"--assess if you'll really be there. Assess if they'll really need another "loss" in their life.




Photo cred: amyjart @brickfish.com

To face me now is to acknowledge
I am aware
To face me now is to say
that I care